Love and Logic

I went to a conference based on my current school's discipline system called "Love and Logic". I loved it. The speaker was very to the point and delivered his message with clarity and humor. His main premise was that our world is raising a generation of children who think that they are in control- which will lead into many disappointing implications for them as they grow older. Old school principles put into modern day situations. Here are a few of my favorite quotes:

If your child refuses to pick up their toys when you ask them to...reply with, "I will let you keep the toys you pick up."

If a student continually tattles, say "I only listen to tattling when it's going to help keep someone safe."

Late papers? "Thank you for turning this in! I love to grade late papers...I do those over the summer."

One of the things I wish I could yell from the rooftops to a lot of the parents I deal with, "When we do the right thing to difficult people, it will look like we did the wrong thing in the short term." (The way that I like to say this in a conference is, "If you are using a consequence that doesn't sting, it's not the right approach. You need to let it sting a time or two, then you will eliminate the behavior.")

When asking a parent in the grocery store, "What do I get if I'm good?" the Dad replied, "A happy family."

"The bus comes by at 7:45. Will you be riding it for free or paying someone to bring you to school?"

"The car is leaving in 10 minutes. Will you be going with the clothes on your body or in a bag?"

"Breakfast is served for the next 15 minutes. Eat what you need to hold you over until lunch."

"I love you too much to argue. I will listen to you when your voice is calm."

Good stuff, eh? It's all about giving options that you are OK with...and letting the child feel the right to choose. That gives them the taste of independence while leaving the adult in control. Brilliant.

Here is their website for more: www.loveandlogic.com