Grace.

I have always been way too concerned about appearances and my social acceptance. This has caused me to sin in ways that I wish I hadn't: talking about others, judging others, doing things just to look good, etc. While I genuinely have a love for knowing people and hearing their "stories" I have not always loved people well....from a heart that is totally pure.

One way that this used to flesh itself out in my life was my weekend plans. I would feel the need to ALWAYS have something to do on Friday and Saturday nights. If I didn't, I wouldn't want anyone to know about it, lest I feel like a loser for not having enough friends. This is part of the reason that I have often been "the planner" for social gatherings- so that I would have plans and feel accepted.

I am always so thankful when the Lord allows me to see any glimpse of growth in my life. This weekend was very restful and yet plan-less. I got errands run, cooked, read, organized and just really enjoyed doing what I wanted to do. As I sat back to reflect on what a great weekend it has been, I realized that, at one point, I would have been devastated that I was so unpopular that I didn't have any plans. ALL weekend. (Hear the violins playing?)

So....here's to 30. I am already thankful for the stability and faith I feel in this new decade.