Some of you may remember the article that I had published in RELEVANT magazine a few months ago. There is a feature online that allows readers to "tweet" "upload to Facebook" and even comment on the articles. I have the comments emailed to me in order to see what people have had to say. I received this comment yesterday and thought that it was too interesting not to post. What do you think?
I must say that being single in an evangelical church is hard, way too hard. Everyone expecting you to get married. Everyone preaching sermons on the joys of marriage. Everyone wondering why you're not married (as though you as a single person can just randomly decide to get married and Wala, a spouse is delivered for you directly from the Lord). Everyone promising you if you just do x, y, and z or follow the dating or no dating method outlined in the latest evangelical dating/no dating book, or spend more time in prayer, or spend more time in service, then, oh then, God is going to bring the amazing person into your life. Others saying definitely, "You're going to make someone a terrific wife someday." "God is going to bring you someone special." etc, etc, etc. Then won't it be so wonderful. You will get married and become an official adult and able to attend the married peoples bible studies and go on the married peoples retreats and engage in real ministry opportunities and become a fully functioning member of the evangelical world. Yes, it is hard. Just when you finally get your heart focused on God and being content with being single, Sunday rolls around and at church some nice married lady (very well-intentioned) just has to ask, "So has God brought that special person into your life yet." Well, it was too hard for me. It was one of the reasons I finally left the evangelical church and headed for Rome.
I can say now as a Roman Catholic, my love life with the Lord has exponentially increased. Jesus Christ, not "who will I marry" is now the absolute center of my life, and I am enormously encouraged every Sunday to pursue Christ completely and wholeheartedly. Jesus Christ in the Eucharist is the very center of the Roman Catholic Mass, and who offers this Mass but the priest, whose very life, like Christ's, is a complete and full sacrifice for the Church. I know some of the vocation story of one of the priests at my parish. He was a successful businessman and had a serious girlfriend, but he left everything behind in order to become a priest. Every Sunday, I am reminded through Communion of Christ's great love and sacrifice to save us from our sins. Christ gave up everything, for us! I also am reminded by my priest, whose very life is a daily sacrifice. He is also giving up everything for us. Then I leave Church thinking Christ was ALL IN. He gave us everything. Our priest is ALL IN. He gave up everything. What can I give Christ? How can I sacrifice? How can I lay down my life, my dreams, my desires, for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven? I really leave Church completely on fire for God, eager to bear this tiny toothpick (since my singleness is not worthy to be called a cross) for the sake of Christ.
Sadly, this was not the case when I attended evangelical church, primarily because the evangelical church has focused solely on marriage as the one and only vocation path. The Catholic Church recognizes that God calls people to different vocations (places or paths of life). The Catholic Church believes that some are called to married life, some are called to single life, and some are called to the priesthood or religious life (singleness for the sake of the kingdom). And all of these vocations are valid and valuable in the eyes of God.
Too often in the Evangelical Church, marriage is inevitably seen as God's will for every person. Yet God does not call everyone to marriage. While God provides a spouse for many people, He does not provide a spouse for everyone. If God called everyone to marriage, there would be spouses provided for everyone. This is not the case. Marriage is an awesome amazing blessing and a beautiful grace-filled vocation, but it is NOT the only path. God may call us to walk the path He Himself walked, the path of chastity and singleness. And yes, this may not be easy. It may hurt. It may never cease to hurt. We may have to give up everything we ever desired, everything we ever dreamed. We may have follow Christ up the hill of Calvary and endure the crucifixion of our own plans, even our plans of marriage and family. Yet Christ promises us that if we die with Him we will also be raised with Him. If we share in His sufferings, we shall share in His glory. And perhaps the intimacy we gain with Christ in the process will be the greatest blessing of all.
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